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One common thing for people to do after a long-term relationship is dive right into a rebound relationship. No matter how much you think this new relationship feels like love if you have fallen really hard really fast the odds are good that it is, in fact, a rebound relationship and not the true love you believe you’ve found.
If the feelings are so intense and seem so real what can you do to prevent this phenomenon from happening to you?
Take things slowly when dating someone new. The first few dates after a breakup can be as terrifying as they can be exciting. These are both rather intense extremes. If you rush into things you might be in over your heard before you even know the water is deep. Take things slow. Date and do nothing more. Don’t get physical and don’t work to get inside each other’s minds just yet either.
Date more than one person. Don’t set your sights on one person only. This is especially important for the first few dates following the breakup. Dating after a breakup doesn’t have to be like playing the field but you should spread things around between at least two or three different people before you focus your attentions on any one person. This helps you avoid intense feelings for one single person early on and gives you a little more time to come to terms with the breakup and the loss of intimacy.
Avoid seeking replacements. You can’t replace the one that got away. You also can’t replace the level of love and commitment that you’ve lost. There is no point in trying. The best you can hope for is to build something new and different with someone new and special. Even that will take a little time. Don’t rush into anything and you should be able to stay off the relationship rollercoaster known as a rebound relationship.
Limit yourself to one evening per week with someone new for several months. If you believe you’re starting to have feelings for a certain someone there will be this urge to spend every waking moment together. Fight that urge. If it’s going to be a genuine romance it will stand up to strict limits for time. This will also give you a little time to pick up on any potential red flags and warning signs that you might miss if you dive right in and allow things to get too intense too quickly.
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The other reason you want to avoid rebound relationships is to give yourself time to see if it’s really over with your ex. If you aren’t ready to give up on your ex there is a way to get your ex back. It all starts with the first step I teach in this free video: http://www.magicofmakingup.com. See what it can do for you.
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